Golden

Tomorrow is my birthday. 29 on the 29th. I'm embarking on the final year of my twenties, some might say the final year of my youth. I can't say the "I'll be 30 next year" thought has bothered me yet. Maybe that'll hit eventually but for now, I'm enjoying life too well to lament its progress. As my sister, Cheryl, wrote in a card for me, this year has been full of surprises - the principal one being that I fell in love.

This past Sunday I had a shared party with my sister, Jessica, who was born exactly 2 years and 6 days (to the minute) before me. When I made my silent wish over 29 candles on my double layer marble cake, I had the hardest time putting the wish into words. As I whispered it to my Lord, all I could think was "my heart's desire... my heart's desire."

Going into this new year of my life, I do know what I want. I do know my heart's desire. I also know that I don't want to attempt to work it out according to my own thoughts and methods. The Lord has so delighted me with His own hidden workings in my life, His timing and wisdom and oh so surprising blessings, that I long to remain securely held in His hands as He continues the good works He has begun. So while I could offer up specific wishes and wants, particular hopes for the coming year, at the heart of it all is that the Lord's will for my greatest good, my fullest happiness, be done.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord,

plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.

When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.

When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot...

(Jeremiah 29:11-14a)

Best of All

I love spring. I love summer. I even love a few things about winter. But autumn, oh autumn is best of all. Cool nights suited to baking. Putting on that cardigan you've missed like an old friend who went away for the summer. Leaves to walk upon and rake up in tempting piles. Apple picking. Simmering cider in the slow cooker. Warming each other's hands. Sharing blankets during coppery sunsets. Autumn seems to be best suited for old hymns, British miniseries, and books waiting patiently for reading. It invites you to snatch up sunshine and comfortable evenings, whispering in your ear of its own fleeting habits. It dares you to be happy in your home, content and peaceable for a while. I can't help but trust this season.

Bookish

I am such a sap! Yesterday, I laughed my head off and cried my eyes out at the movie, "Ramona & Beezus." The movie is based on the Ramona books by Beverly Clearly, favorites of mine as a child. Plain and simple, this was an excellent family film - funny, heartwarming, clean. Not a blockbuster or an Oscar contender, but entertaining fare worth a family's time. But beyond the goodness of the movie was the sweetness of seeing on screen beloved characters from so many years ago. My sister and I repeatedly exclaimed under our breath as yet another character or situation was introduced that we recognized from the books. It gives me half a mind to read those books again. More than that, it drew me into memories of reading. At breakfast, in the car, curled up in bed, in between homework assignments, during commercials... I grew up with a book in front of me. Joy and excitement were found in the immersion of my imagination in the words on each page. There wasn't a lot about my little life to 'expand my horizons', but books... well, books let me know there was a vast world around me, filled with a host of personalities and cultures, opportunities and adventures.

It's why I still read. It's why I write fiction. It's why I question how long I should sustain my current circumstances rather than take a leap.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, Pray For Us!

Today marks the 100th birthday of Mother Teresa, known now as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta as she has been beatified on her way to sainthood in the Church. I probably don't need to say much on why she matters, why it is good to reflect on her life, or how she has influenced the Church, the missionary world, and countless individuals lives, whether directly or indirectly. I will say that there has grown in me a deep appreciation of and desire to emulate Mother Teresa's one on one approach to the suffering, injustice and needs of this world. I'm not good with politics, with worldwide issues or global plans. They overwhelm me and I am left feeling helpless and ignorant. This often makes me think I am doing far too little for the good of my fellow human beings (and this is true enough) and that I am not capable of doing much at all (and this is not true at all). It is Mother Teresa's approach that teaches me there will always be ways I can build up the good of this world. Each individual person I encounter presents me with an opportunity to love and serve, to edify and encourage. None should be skipped over; none should be dismissed. The range of actions that can be taken is truly expansive, from the simplest and momentary to the sacrificial and lasting.

May I always remember to love the person, every person, God allows me to encounter. May I not be too preoccupied to recognize a need in another. May I hold a joy in my heart so permament and abundant that it will consistently reach whomever I meet. May I acknowledge that all I have has been given by God and if He asks me to give of it to others, may I willingly and cheerfully do so.

A few words from Blessed Teresa of Calcutta...

Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness.

Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well.

Little things are indeed little, but to be faithful in little things is a great thing.

A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves. The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace.

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.

Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing. Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.

Lunching

For the past five years I've maintained the habit of eating my lunch at home alone. The office being a three to five minute drive from my house, depending on green lights, this has been a completely reasonable option for me. I've savored the time by myself, interrupting the workday with an hour to myself, maybe with some productivity or simply some relaxation. I've always been someone who needs a bit of time to myself here and there, so these at home lunches have served me well.

No more. Matt and I work in the same office. Our relationship began with lunch dates. We've now reached the point of only an occasional lunch apart from each other. The way I used to crave that hour alone and miss it if I had to skip it more than once a week, the same can now be said of lunches with Matt. Today I opted to have a long overdue lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in several months. Delightful as it was to catch up and spend an hour enjoying conversation with that friend, in the back of my mind was the constant awareness of missing Matt at my side.

It's a simple little thing, this shift in my lunching preference. Maybe you're rolling your eyes over it or perhaps you think it's sweet. What's the point of sharing this tidbit with you? I guess it has me thinking about the changes wrought in my life over the last three months. Three months... it doesn't seem long enough in the scheme of things to achieve such marked changes in a person's day to day life. As are so many aspects of life lately, this is just another reminder of how capable God is of taking us by surprise as He works out His plans in our lives - especially if we are carrying around expectations, as I know I have done so very much of the time.